Excellence
As I stood by my kitchen sink doing dishes from the previous night and tidying up before I could make myself breakfast, I stared at a fork that I had hurriedly wiped with a sponge. I was about to rinse it when I noticed some dried bits of mashed potato still stuck to it. The word “excellence” popped into my mind and I almost rolled my eyes. You see, that word can be triggering for me sometimes because of what I allowed it to represent in my past.
A few years ago, I clashed with one of my aunts over a food picture I had posted on my food Instagram page. She commented on the haphazard presentation and added that excellence should be in me. Unbeknownst to her, I was, and sometimes still feel like I am, a recovering overachiever who was on a journey towards contentment after a season of burnout. Inwardly, I was angry because I thought, "Do I need to bleed myself dry before anything I do is ever good enough?"
That’s the silent struggle of overachievers. Nothing is ever enough. We They chase the next win like an addict chasing a high, and you could even purport that winning is a high for us them and that we they become addicted to that fast-paced life. When you reach breaking point, any criticism feels personal because you genuinely believe nothing you do is ever good enough. In hindsight, my dear aunt was simply trying to push me towards excellence in something I am really passionate about. In fact, if you see my food presentation now, you’ll notice excellence in most of it. Over a decade later, I must admit that I partly owe that to her.
I have had over a decade of life experience since that incident, and I have learnt that excellence is not something to reserve for the boardroom, job interviews or big stages with shining lights. Excellence is something you build in the mundane things, like making sure a fork is properly soaked and cleaned before putting it aside to dry, or making sure an email to a junior colleague is polished and reads well. It is not perfectionism. It is giving your best effort in whatever you do so that, when the stage, flashing lights and huge crowd eventually arrive, you do not feel like a fish out of water. Or, and I’m just spitballing here, if Gordon Ramsay were to discover your food page on Instagram and decide to mentor you at one of his fine establishments, and you made it through each day without him calling you "an idiot sandwich". Excellence would feel natural because you would have embedded it into your being and conditioned yourself to accept nothing less, without burning yourself out, of course.
I am currently doing a 75-day Medium challenge, which involves a number of tasks designed to build discipline. You see, I used to be very disciplined, fully committing myself to the pursuits I set my mind to. However, one bad habit and one poor decision after another, I now find myself having to will myself to do things I once did without hesitation. This week, during my lunch break, I was doing mat Pilates in my lounge. One pose had my abs burning as if they were literally on fire. I had to lie on my back with both legs raised, my neck lifted and chin tucked to my chest, while flapping my hands on either side for a soul-crushing 30 seconds. After about 14 seconds, I wanted to stop and wait for the next pose. My excuse was, "It’s early days; I’ll do better next time." Then I reminded myself that the whole point of this challenge is to strengthen my self-discipline. Mind over matter.
“Do you not know that those who run in a race all run, but one receives the prize? Run in such a way that you may obtain it. […] But I discipline my body and bring it into subjection, lest, when I have preached to others, I myself should become disqualified.” 1 Corinthians 9:24, 27 NKJV (https://bible.com/bible/114/1co.9.24.NKJV)
If it were a plate of delicious meat or brownies that I needed to finish, I would have powered through even if my stomach was already full and nearly bursting. Why can’t I endure the same discomfort for a better reward? So I pushed myself, grunted and almost ugly-cried through every second. At one point I started flapping faster just to get through it quicker, but I knew I had to give it my best effort until failure rather than relax at the first sign of discomfort.
In your daily pursuits, may you chase excellence. You were not made to be average, and I know I certainly was not.
See you in another post next week!